今天是中秋节。。。

今天是中秋节。。。
对于我来说，每年的中秋杰还是一样。。。
根本都没庆祝，连去中秋晚会都没有。。。
除了小时候还有去公公家庆祝。。。
但是自从公公去世后，这个节日对我来说已毫无意义了。。。
今天，我早上刚去了邻居的理发店减短了头发。。。
但看起来还是怪怪的。。。
可能我看不习惯我短发的样子。。。
考试要到了！
我到现在都还没准备好。。。
书还有很多还没读。。。
难道我就这样放弃我中六的第一次的考试吗？
我觉得我是不会这样就放弃了。。。
就算是读到考试前的一分钟，我还是要读完书。。。
这是我对自己的要求。。。
可能这也是我在中六里最后一次考试。。。
我目前还不确定我要继续中六，还是转读学院。。。
其实，我每次跟我父母说看考试成绩先才做决定是自己骗自己的。。。
因为连我自己都不知道考试过后，我可以这么爽快做一个我想要的决定。。。
我怕我会后悔。。。
我怕我会选错路来走。。。
我怕我以后的人生是失败的。。。
就因为这样，我甚至不敢面对这个问题。。。
做其他东西来麻醉自已。。。
我在自欺欺人吗？
唉。。。。。。

today no mood...because of her?

today i really dont have mood...
play badminton also feel tired...
win and lose in the badminton match didnt affect my mood today...
maybe because of her...
or maybe because of my favourite team,arsenal lose yesterday...
i saw her and her family come to yoke nam and play badminton at 3something...
i didnt go and talk with her today...
maybe i think i dont want to disturb her...
she has her own freedom...
i dont want to make her feel that i am annoying...
for me,can become her friend already very good...
what can i hope for?
but the only thing i am sure...
"I WONT GIVE UP!!!"
i will wait although it is a long period...
i promise myself to make my study and sport better first...
i dont want being pandang rendah by other people...
i hate the feelings that being pandang rendah by the others...
haiz...

tuesday tutorial class

only one word can mention about today tutorial class...
'BORING'...
when i attend for the BI tutorial class,i found that Pn Chan Koon Fong is there...
OMG...i will meet my form 3 BI teacher again...
although she was speaking and teaching,i only did my biology report...
i didnt listen and learn anythings from her lesson...
haha...
later is Pn Buwasnery(dont know how to spell her name) tutorial class...
only one question that we are doing in that lesson...
but she said we need to pass up tomorrow...
until now i also hadnt finish that question yet...
hehe...

stressful...

today is the first time people call me so annoying...
i am so surprised she will say that...
but i admit i am that type of person...
i dont know what should i said...
because i cant do anything for that...
the only thing i can do is
'start changing myself from now onwards'...
i dont want to make other people to mistaken...
i like to chat because i think this can reduce my pressure...
i want to tell and share many things with my friends...
study form 6 really is pressure for me...
i cannot enjoy like form 5 life that time...
my classmate all leave,studying college...
no sport,no study together,no activities...
these only can become a part of the memory in my brain forever...
haiz...

today is damn fun

today morning i wake up at 2pm...
sleep damn late...
because yesterday i slept at 4am...
today is fun...
at night i go yumcha with Boon Jhoe,Pn Chan and Moon Kit...
is nice to busy chatting with them...
we chat about many things...
maybe this year i am not going to school...
so i miss my school life a lot...
i think i will like to study in school better than stay at home...
because i can do anything in school rather in home...
the things that i can do in home is limited...
i would like together with my friends in school...
but this have gone away...
hope we still can always go yumcha...
haha...